Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Foreplay- Illusion or Delusion?

I really hate the idea of foreplay, that sex is a process, with a predictable outcome, divided into stages.
How the male mind works:
"ME horny"(Find woman, pester)
Kiss, squeeze boob, stroke thigh(This is the stage known known as foreplay)
Poke(repeat until male orgasm, this is the sex stage, "real sex" ends when he comes)
Sleep (Sex over now)

If women were more amenable to task oriented sex, some kind of deal could be struck(you go down, kiss pussy until I orgasm, then poke) and this arrangement is better than her listening to him snore, staring at the ceiling frustrated and having, what is no doubt the most common of all female fantasies, strangling the insensitive bastard.

I think sex for men and women could be improved if we exploit another aspect of male thinking, men have no trouble understanding that machines need routine maintenance, the same guy that thinks he can just fire up his woman and ride would never treat a motorcycle so casually. Foreplay is all day, everyday, bubble bath and silly little love notes are the oil changes of love.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

How to properly tip a barista

 Simple matter of physics, they're much easier to tip than cows or outhouses