She said my organ was rock hard and throbbing

She was my doctor
It was my liver
Now, I don't drink

"It's not easy being green"

Although Marijuana is highly effective in the treatment of rampage, significant destruction can still occur( especially of snack cake displays) and the tendency to dress only in torn, dirty cutoffs can persist.

Nice Ass

I hate explaining jokes but if you're not from around here this one needs some background. Enumclaw is a little country town nearby, the site of the notorious horse barn. A brothel/ movie set for beastly delights. Ballard and Wallingford are Seattle neighborhoods.

Creepy

I am a bit cracked on this subject. Celebrity can be tough, just look at what wrecks a lot of them are; they have to have some ego issues too, you need to be obsessed to be seen when everyone else in your business is also willing to do anything too. Some of them have just gone too far.

That being said I'm just waiting for Jen to peel off her face and reveal a mass of circuits. Suddenly and unexpectedly caught naked everything ordinarily clothed is smooth and featureless, she just extrudes nipples and a vagina when needed.

Bit of a Sticky Wicket

I just hope I never get so old and jaded that an old fashioned gooey romance doesn't touch my heart just a little

Candy Is Dandy

Women are so easy to entertain

Another one where their expressions say it all and the headline writes itself

Our New Just For Men Collection

"Smells like an Egyptian whorehouse in here"
"No, it's French from France"

Celebrity Genius

Mariah Carey has been hired as the spokeswoman for a new weight loss drug called "Biafra"

“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor, starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean, I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff”. (True quote)

Ms Carey also is starting her own reality show about HIV/AIDS
"LOL, You Really Are The Weakest Link"

Is there anything it can't do?

Rorschach Drug Test

Halloween Movie Stills

These were all originally posted in the week before Halloween. The one above came with a caption "Don't drink and Trick or Treat".

Why is the "Godfather", which I have never been able to even sit through, universally acclaimed, while "Tombstone" is largely regarded as just another western?
The deathbed scene was a little over the top maudlin, but only in comparison to the rest of Val Kilmer's performance.

Nostalgia

This will bring back those childhood memories

Pay attention class

Mongol General: ... what is best in life?

Mongol Warrior: The open steppe, fleet horse, falcon on your wrist, wind in your hair!

Mongol General: Wrong! Conan, what is best in life?

Conan: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women!

Mongol General: Also wrong, Snidely what is best in life?

Snidely Whiplash: Immunity from prosecution, half a kilo of coke, and a smokin' hot redhead who doesn't know the meaning of shame.

All together: (with gusto) fuckin' A right

Inspired by Craigslist Personals

His expression made this

I just filled in the blanks. (New Horizons is a swingers club hereabouts)

Upskirt

If Women thought it through, cats would be less popular pets

Life is Tough

A companion piece

Extenze

Have you ever fallen asleep in front of the TV and realized the nightmare you were having was infomercials subliminally infiltrating your mind.

I used to work in publishing and always admired the hook in the Cosmo titles.
Written by a man , incidentally.

You only wish this was fictional.
New Horizons is a swingers club in Seattle. Just to add a little context.

Working Sideways

Not my first, but an early effort. Smutty, juvenile and crude just like it's papa.

Working Backwards

If you know me you've seem them. As a hobby I enjoy making fake ads and bookcovers.
The internet must look to me much as an undefaced streetcar looks to a tagger