Tuesday, June 29, 2010

An Indelicate Dilemma

The temperature in Seattle has finally risen above seventy and some female flesh has emerged from the Seattle Burka(goretex and polarguard swaddling)
You've got a seat on the bus, basking in the sun and the view.(life is good)
Mr Happy agrees(emphatically)
A hot Mom gets on the bus( and clearly really needs your seat)
But if you stand up your awkward boner ends up right in her face.

Act nonchalant and hope she does the same?
Act nonchalant and wink?
Whistle loudly and tunelessly while turning in circles so other riders can share the discomfort?


  1. Since I'm a straight female and drive I don't have this problem. However as the youngest of four and the only girl I sometimes find myself able to give advice to men to help them in situations like this.

    I understand that certain mental visuals will help reduce Mr. Happy's - joyfulness.

    So imagine any of the following people in a g-string bikini bottoms and bright orange tasseled pasties -

    Chuck Norris

    Rosie O'Donnel

    Bruce Campbell

    Bruce Willis


    Amy Winehouse

    And if that doesn't work, imagine Hillary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi kissing each other the way Britney Spears and Madonna did.

    If you're imagination deprived, I'm sure Snidely could whip you up a wallet sized photoshop job of any of the above for you to quickly pull out and look at until your joy had dissipated.

  2. Thanks for that, Jami. Now I have to rip my eyeballs out and boil them in ammonia to get rid of the mental picture you just branded into them.

    If that doesn't get rid of a boner, nothing will. :D