Not so fast there...

I recently saw this posted as an example of how not to lock things up

 http://presurfer.blogspot.com/2011/01/locking-up-your-property.html#links
Grotesquely unfair, the ring on the inside doorknob is pure genius. It's probably stronger and faster to use than the little slidebar and chain that are commercially available. Plus no drilled holes or other scars on the door. It is easy to imagine a commercial version, modify the ring slightly to cam lock onto the door. Two of them chained together would work instantly on double doors.

If Countries Were People

 The Anglos are family, we love Canada, the older sister, modest, polite straight A grades, the go to gal when we fuck up. The US is the only boy, loud, pushy,who's the favorite only because he is the boy, cluelessly blundering through life secure in his entitlement. Australia is the acting out baby sister, smoking cigarettes with her bunch of slutty friends that ignore the US except when they want to piss her off.  New Zealand is the invisible middle child, the wallflower who everyone identifies only as Australia's sister. Good old mom, England, we love her we really do but we hate to visit because her house is full of antique furniture we have to stay off. Lovable Ireland Dad, he was fun when he was sober and around, we understand why mom divorced him but it's been forever, why can't they bury the hatchet.

Foreplay- Illusion or Delusion?

I really hate the idea of foreplay, that sex is a process, with a predictable outcome, divided into stages.
How the male mind works:
"ME horny"(Find woman, pester)
Kiss, squeeze boob, stroke thigh(This is the stage known known as foreplay)
Poke(repeat until male orgasm, this is the sex stage, "real sex" ends when he comes)
Sleep (Sex over now)

If women were more amenable to task oriented sex, some kind of deal could be struck(you go down, kiss pussy until I orgasm, then poke) and this arrangement is better than her listening to him snore, staring at the ceiling frustrated and having, what is no doubt the most common of all female fantasies, strangling the insensitive bastard.

I think sex for men and women could be improved if we exploit another aspect of male thinking, men have no trouble understanding that machines need routine maintenance, the same guy that thinks he can just fire up his woman and ride would never treat a motorcycle so casually. Foreplay is all day, everyday, bubble bath and silly little love notes are the oil changes of love.

How to properly tip a barista

 Simple matter of physics, they're much easier to tip than cows or outhouses

Obscene and Pornographic Art Prices

You'll have to forgive me for a serious post, but I am outraged, outraged I say. My little covers are meant to amuse but I am very sincere in my admiration for the pulp artists. A collection of cast off and abandoned works by Picasso have been discovered and valued in the neighborhood of $80 million. The record for a work of a pulp artist is under $150,000. A world class museum of pulp art could be built and maintained in perpetuity for much less than the price of a single work of Lucien Freud. I admire Picasso and Freud a good deal but too many fine artists labor in obscurity while histrionic speculation in art drives the prices far beyond their actual worth. This sort of star worship is rampant in the performance arts as well as sports and even finance. I have no problem with the talented, hard working or just lucky being rich but one Van Gogh work is not more valuable than the life's' works of hundreds of artists laboring today unappreciated and unrewarded like Van Gogh himself.

What you don't know can hurt you

"Fool's tax":
This isn't a word I love but a phrase and an idea that really has its place today perhaps more than ever.
The price you pay for ignorance, buying oregano or a used car that dies after two blocks. What about straying into the wrong neighborhood?

Boys Just Wanna Have Fun

Words I love,
Apoplexy- literally to have a stroke but it hearkens back to the day when it was believed that a person could become so frustrated that their brain would blow.
Dissolute- debauched, degenerate, depraved, dissipated, lewd, lax, lascivious,wanton,wayward, wicked and wild. The best things in life are synonyms.