Friday, May 28, 2010

Lucky for me they don't make a METH-a-lyzer


Start over... it clearly states circle one answer... not three

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Most Terrifying Remake


ALEX (Played by Miley)
One thing I could never stand is to see a filthy, dirty old drunkie, howling away at the filthy songs of his fathers and going blerp, blerp in between as it might be a filthy old orchestra in his stinking rotten guts. I could never stand to see anyone like that, whatever his age might be, but more especially when he was my Dad.

The girls stop and applaud him.

TRAMP(Billy Ray Cyrus)
Can you... can you spare some nookie?

DROOG DIM(Amy Winehouse)
Yeah

TRAMP
Anybody else?

DROOG GEORGIE(Britney Spears)
That's a right purty mouth...
cue Dueling Banjos by the Berlin Philharmonic

DROOG PETE (Paris Hilton)
Squeal, WHEE WHEE
rips off his tighty whities and rams her strapon into the Tramp. The girls laugh.

Miley, Britney, Paris, and Amy have formed a cover group that only performs when they are PMSing.

Bloatie and the Ho-fish

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Gimme an entendre and make it a double

Her favorite drink is a Jackie Collins-cheap gin, sour mix, pop the cherry and make the rocks with dirty water

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

ABCs Wide World of Wooden Ass Paddling


The Thrill of Hickory
The Agony of the Seat

Weird trivia- Hangmen of the western world traditionally tie a hangman's noose with an unlucky 13 coils. In the middle east with a lucky number 7, they figure if your getting hung that's enough bad luck for one day.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Daddy Dearest


" He's a sweet kid, but he'll never be a silver back" Jane Goodall.

" I look at him and I'm all like 'what a waste' he needs to face reality" Lindsay Lohan

"Have you seen his pec implants, how insecure can you get?" Pamela Anderson

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Crude but effecftive



The drawing, I can do better but what's the point of being a slacker if you have to do everything right. This is the best prank I ever invented.

Monday, May 10, 2010

It was easy... maybe too easy

Later, drowning his sorrows at the saloon...
He turns to the blonde floozy and says," I drink to forget."
"Me too," she replies sprightly," Why do you?"

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Girl's Night In... (Again)



Women who bought this also bought the same old line from that loser at the health club.


Friday, May 7, 2010

Strictly need to know

On Hungarian websites always click on "cicusok" it mostly leads to pictures of hot women (sometimes cats)

If you let your 12 year old nephew charge his IPod on your computer it will thoughtfully find and upload the videos in the folder titled "taxes 2004" for his viewing pleasure

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Is that a bomb in your shoe or...?

Flog The Whore Tinkerbell for Immodest Dress is the most popular ride at DisneyArabia

Sunday, May 2, 2010

They Feast By Night

She opened the door, languidly, her robe open; the pizza man was stunned by the naked desire in her face.
Suddenly, as she checked out his package,her smouldering need was replaced by a burst of icy rage.
"You, bastard," she mouthed, it was nearly a whisper,
"You forgot the fucking bread sticks."